Having multiple children can be frustrating when they bicker, but sweet when they are getting along. Here are some ways to foster a positive sibling relationship.
You want your children to love each other and support each other, but there are days that all they seem to do is argue with each other. There is no surefire way to stop siblings from arguing completely, but you can help foster positive relationships between your children that will last them a lifetime. Here are some practical ways to bring siblings closer together.
Avoid favortism. Never show favortism for one child over another. This is the leading reason for why siblings bicker. This should be a priority in your family, no matter what the age difference is between siblings. Everyone should have a chance to have some special privileges to help them feel secure. Be very conscientious of each child's feelings and pay close attention to each child as an individual.
To share or not to share. While sharing is a very important skill that every child should learn, it is a good idea to have a few "very special" things that belong to one child alone. This usually takes on the form of a favorite stuffed animal, a more expensive toy, or a special gift that was given to a child from a friend or relative. Those things that are considered "very special" help children understand that they can have things of their own and enjoy some privacy, but most things need to be shared between siblings. Of course, this will vary depending on the age difference between siblings.
Comparing apples to oranges. Never compare your children. Children come in all different shapes and sizes, along with different talents. Some kids are born artists, while others are great at sports. Capitalize on your childrens strengths, but never say, "Johnny is so good at reading. Why can't you read like him?" That will deflate your child's self-esteem instantly, and he may not even want to try reading anymore. Plus, it will spark jealousy that will ensue an argument.
Positive reinforcement. When children are able to work through their differences and solve an argument on their own, they should be praised. This sends a message that they have pleased you, and this is what you find acceptable.
Look for clues. Take time to notice when most of the bickering begins. Is it a night when everyone is getting sleepy? Is it in the morning when everyone feels rushed with the morning routine? Whatever time seems to be the predominant trouble spot, try changing up the routine and set some new rules that may work better. Rules can be changed, as long as the parents make them.
As long as you realize that there will be arguments and have realistic expectations of how you want your children to treat each other, you should find a bit more peace and more closeness between your children with these steps.
You want your children to love each other and support each other, but there are days that all they seem to do is argue with each other. There is no surefire way to stop siblings from arguing completely, but you can help foster positive relationships between your children that will last them a lifetime. Here are some practical ways to bring siblings closer together.
Avoid favortism. Never show favortism for one child over another. This is the leading reason for why siblings bicker. This should be a priority in your family, no matter what the age difference is between siblings. Everyone should have a chance to have some special privileges to help them feel secure. Be very conscientious of each child's feelings and pay close attention to each child as an individual.
To share or not to share. While sharing is a very important skill that every child should learn, it is a good idea to have a few "very special" things that belong to one child alone. This usually takes on the form of a favorite stuffed animal, a more expensive toy, or a special gift that was given to a child from a friend or relative. Those things that are considered "very special" help children understand that they can have things of their own and enjoy some privacy, but most things need to be shared between siblings. Of course, this will vary depending on the age difference between siblings.
Comparing apples to oranges. Never compare your children. Children come in all different shapes and sizes, along with different talents. Some kids are born artists, while others are great at sports. Capitalize on your childrens strengths, but never say, "Johnny is so good at reading. Why can't you read like him?" That will deflate your child's self-esteem instantly, and he may not even want to try reading anymore. Plus, it will spark jealousy that will ensue an argument.
Positive reinforcement. When children are able to work through their differences and solve an argument on their own, they should be praised. This sends a message that they have pleased you, and this is what you find acceptable.
Look for clues. Take time to notice when most of the bickering begins. Is it a night when everyone is getting sleepy? Is it in the morning when everyone feels rushed with the morning routine? Whatever time seems to be the predominant trouble spot, try changing up the routine and set some new rules that may work better. Rules can be changed, as long as the parents make them.
As long as you realize that there will be arguments and have realistic expectations of how you want your children to treat each other, you should find a bit more peace and more closeness between your children with these steps.
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