Commitment in marriage is a promise to turn away from other relationships and do what it takes to make a marriage work. In their book, Growing Great Marriages (Random House Books, 2009), Ian and Mary Grant highlight what true commitment should mean to married couples.
What is the Difference Between Love and Commitment
Love is often associated with romance, flowers, chocolate, courtship and passion. While these things are important, they all fade and diminish with time. Commitment on the other hand is lasting and reliable. Committed love is the only way to grow deep trusting relationships. Many young people are afraid to commit, always feeling that someone better may come along. This attitude is not a good foundation for a marriage.
What are the Benefits of Commitment in Marriage
While commitment may initially bring a sense of loss at no longer being free, and a sense of panic at being tied to one person, there are also immense benefits. Ian and Mary Grant describe these as follows:
How to Act out Commitment
Commitment is a lifelong process that needs to be acted out day by day. Saying wedding vows is a significant part of commitment but needs to be followed up by the following actions:
Commitment in marriage is not as evident as it was a generation ago. However, the benefits of commitment remain unchanged and couples who commit to marriage often have a more stable, satisfying relationship than couples who are just living together. Commitment takes effort and thought but is the foundation for contentment in marriage.
What is the Difference Between Love and Commitment
Love is often associated with romance, flowers, chocolate, courtship and passion. While these things are important, they all fade and diminish with time. Commitment on the other hand is lasting and reliable. Committed love is the only way to grow deep trusting relationships. Many young people are afraid to commit, always feeling that someone better may come along. This attitude is not a good foundation for a marriage.
What are the Benefits of Commitment in Marriage
While commitment may initially bring a sense of loss at no longer being free, and a sense of panic at being tied to one person, there are also immense benefits. Ian and Mary Grant describe these as follows:
- True commitment leads to deep intimacy and sharing.
- The stability that comes from commitment allows couples to work at building a life together.
- Research has shown that there are fewer arguments and conflicts between married couples than those living together. This is thought to be because of the different level of security in a marriage relationship.
- The public declaration of trust during a wedding sets a firm foundation for marriage.
How to Act out Commitment
Commitment is a lifelong process that needs to be acted out day by day. Saying wedding vows is a significant part of commitment but needs to be followed up by the following actions:
- Leaving family and cleaving to a marriage partner is an important show of commitment
- Placing a spouse first and being faithful in actions and thoughts can build security into a marriage
- Affirming commitment regularly and keeping communication open, even during difficult times
- Wives feel a husband’s commitment through acts of kindness, such as when he helps with the children and takes responsibility for some of the household chores
- Husbands experience a wife’s commitment when she admires his abilities, desires his body and thanks him for working to provide for her and the family
Commitment in marriage is not as evident as it was a generation ago. However, the benefits of commitment remain unchanged and couples who commit to marriage often have a more stable, satisfying relationship than couples who are just living together. Commitment takes effort and thought but is the foundation for contentment in marriage.
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