"I'm scared that if you have a boyfriend, you won't have time for me," is something that few kids can admit to their divorced single mothers or divorced parents – but the feelings often exist. When a new love interest surfaces in their parent's life, divorced kids may feel abandoned or rejected.
The opposite can also be true: if you're a single parent dating you may refuse to look before you leap into the singles pool – in fact you won't even dip your toe in – because you're afraid of rejection or getting hurt. Your children may be old enough to accept you dating after divorce, but your fear of intimacy or emotional walls could stop you from dating as a single parent.
Single parents dating: what recent research shows
Johns Hopkins University studied dating after divorce and single parent dating. "The more transitions children go through in their living situation, the more likely they are to act out," reports ScienceDaily. Transitions include new dating partners for their divorced parents, changes in family structure, moving to different cities, and changing schools. Johns Hopkins researchers stated that "children are affected by disruption and changes in family structure as well as by the type of family structures they experience."
Single parents dating: different from family to family
Though dating after divorce and single parent dating was found to have a negative impact on divorced kids, not all families are the same. Personality traits, kids' age, kids' lifestyle, how the divorced parents handle dating and the circumstances around the divorce all play a role in the effects of single parents dating.
Single parents dating: weighing your options
Finding a divorced support group or counselor will help you decide whether you should leap into the singles pool again. Being honest and objective – putting aside your own needs and desires – about how your kids will respond to your dating after divorce will help you make your decision. Sometimes seeing clearly involves outside help, whether it's from a pastor, counselor, therapist or wise friend or relative.
Single parents dating: positive impacts
Though it depends on many factors, dating after divorce can demonstrate resiliency and healthy coping strategies to divorced kids. Dating as a single parent can offer more connections to other divorced families and less isolation -- but it totally depends on each family's circumstances. Dating after divorce can wreak havoc on one child and be positive for another....and those two kids experience different results could live in the exact same family.
Single parents dating: smoothing the transition
Research shows that many problems for divorced kids and single parent dating comes from transitioning from one family or home to another. To reduce the possible negative impact of dating after divorce, ensure that smooth transitions take place. This means different things to different families – or it could mean no leaps into the single pool after all.
The opposite can also be true: if you're a single parent dating you may refuse to look before you leap into the singles pool – in fact you won't even dip your toe in – because you're afraid of rejection or getting hurt. Your children may be old enough to accept you dating after divorce, but your fear of intimacy or emotional walls could stop you from dating as a single parent.
Single parents dating: what recent research shows
Johns Hopkins University studied dating after divorce and single parent dating. "The more transitions children go through in their living situation, the more likely they are to act out," reports ScienceDaily. Transitions include new dating partners for their divorced parents, changes in family structure, moving to different cities, and changing schools. Johns Hopkins researchers stated that "children are affected by disruption and changes in family structure as well as by the type of family structures they experience."
Single parents dating: different from family to family
Though dating after divorce and single parent dating was found to have a negative impact on divorced kids, not all families are the same. Personality traits, kids' age, kids' lifestyle, how the divorced parents handle dating and the circumstances around the divorce all play a role in the effects of single parents dating.
Single parents dating: weighing your options
Finding a divorced support group or counselor will help you decide whether you should leap into the singles pool again. Being honest and objective – putting aside your own needs and desires – about how your kids will respond to your dating after divorce will help you make your decision. Sometimes seeing clearly involves outside help, whether it's from a pastor, counselor, therapist or wise friend or relative.
Single parents dating: positive impacts
Though it depends on many factors, dating after divorce can demonstrate resiliency and healthy coping strategies to divorced kids. Dating as a single parent can offer more connections to other divorced families and less isolation -- but it totally depends on each family's circumstances. Dating after divorce can wreak havoc on one child and be positive for another....and those two kids experience different results could live in the exact same family.
Single parents dating: smoothing the transition
Research shows that many problems for divorced kids and single parent dating comes from transitioning from one family or home to another. To reduce the possible negative impact of dating after divorce, ensure that smooth transitions take place. This means different things to different families – or it could mean no leaps into the single pool after all.
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